How Do You Know If a Massage Is Inappropriate? A Guide from The Mark of Massage

At The Mark of Massage in Castle Rock, Colorado, I’ve been committed to safe, ethical, and professional therapeutic massage since 2004—whether it’s deep tissue for chronic relief, sports massage for recovery after Colorado adventures, trigger point therapy for targeted knots, prenatal support, hot stone relaxation, Esalen flow, structural integration, or lighter styles to unwind. Safety, trust, and clear boundaries are non-negotiable in this profession. A legitimate massage should always feel therapeutic, respectful, and comfortable—never sexual, coercive, or unsettling.

Most massage therapists adhere strictly to professional ethics (from organizations like the American Massage Therapy Association [AMTA] and National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork [NCBTMB]), but it’s empowering for clients to know the signs of inappropriate behavior so you can protect yourself. Trust your instincts—if something feels “off,” it’s okay to speak up, stop the session, or leave immediately.

Key Red Flags: Signs a Massage May Be Inappropriate

Here are the most common indicators of boundary-crossing or misconduct during a session:

1.  Inappropriate or Unwanted Touch
Any touch to private areas (genitals, anus, breasts/nipples) without explicit medical necessity and consent is strictly prohibited and considered sexual misconduct. This includes lingering near erogenous zones (like inner thighs or buttocks) without therapeutic reason, poor draping that exposes private areas, or pressure that feels sexual rather than therapeutic. Red flag if the therapist ignores your requests to avoid certain areas or adjusts draping improperly.

2.  Suggestive Comments, Sexual Jokes, or Inappropriate Questions
Comments about your body, sex life, appearance, or anything flirtatious/sexual (e.g., “How’s your sex life?” or sexual innuendos) are never okay. Personal, intrusive questions unrelated to your health goals, or the therapist sharing excessive personal details about themselves, cross professional boundaries.

3.  Ignoring Your Boundaries or Consent
Pressuring you to undress more than you’re comfortable with, disregarding requests for lighter pressure, avoiding specific areas, or continuing after you say “stop” or express discomfort. A good therapist checks in regularly and respects your “no” immediately.

4.  Unprofessional Behavior or Grooming Attempts
Asking to meet outside the session (e.g., for a date, friendship, or private massage), suggesting a “massage trade,” making you feel pressured to reciprocate touch, or exhibiting long periods of inactivity where hands aren’t visible. Excessive talking about personal life, politics, religion, or charged topics can also signal poor impulse control.

5.  Other Warning Signs

•  No intake questions about your health, goals, or preferences.

•  Unsanitary environment, lack of proper licensing display, or pressure for add-ons that feel off.

•  Making you feel guilty, anxious, or unsettled afterward instead of relaxed and relieved.

What to Do If You Notice Red Flags

•  Speak up clearly: Say “That feels uncomfortable—please stop” or “I’d like to end the session.”

•  Leave immediately if needed—no explanation required; your safety comes first.

•  Report if it feels like misconduct: Contact the therapist’s licensing board (in Colorado, the Department of Regulatory Agencies), AMTA, or local authorities. Document what happened.

•  For future sessions: Choose licensed, reviewed therapists; read policies upfront; bring a friend if it helps you feel safer.

At The Mark of Massage, whether in-home (mobile within ~30 minutes of my Castle Rock home office at 216 Douglas Fir Ave, 80104) or in the private lower-level space (fully secluded sessions, with occasional family sounds from upstairs outside the room), I prioritize clear communication, secure draping, explicit consent, and your comfort every step of the way. Massage is about healing and trust—never anything else.

If you’re ever unsure or have preferences (e.g., “avoid certain areas” or “keep it lighter”), just tell me—I’ll adjust accordingly for a positive, therapeutic experience.

Sources for Verification (based on 2025–2026 professional ethics guidelines and industry resources):

•  AMTA Code of Ethics: Refrain from sexual conduct; maintain professional boundaries (https://www.amtamassage.org/about/core-documents/)

•  NCBTMB Standards of Practice & Code of Ethics: Prevention of sexual misconduct; respect client boundaries (https://ncbtmb.org/standards-of-practice/; https://ncbtmb.org/code-of-ethics/)

•  Ben Benjamin Ph.D.: Red flags include inappropriate comments, invitations outside sessions, poor draping (https://benbenjamin.com/what-every-massage-client-should-know/)

•  Massage Magazine & various ethics articles: Common signs like unwanted touch, suggestive remarks, ignoring requests (https://www.massagemag.com/red-flags-prioritize-personal-safety-as-an-mt-140452/; https://www.massagetique.com/blog/health-wellness/massage-leaving-you-anxious-12-potential-red-flags-in-massage-therapy/)

•  Legal & survivor resources: Unwanted touching, ignoring boundaries as key indicators (https://lehrmanlaw.com/recognizing-sexual-misconduct-and-assault-in-massage-therapy/)

Your well-being is my top priority—hope this empowers you! Ready for a safe, customized session? Contact The Mark of Massage today. 😊